:: on sacrficing your own happiness for the sake of other ::

telling ur dirty laudry to ur friends is not the best thing to do when they themselves has their own problem to solve , but their supportive reactions and suggestions really open my eyes about how much they care and concern about the situation . my solution ? , packed my bags and leave everything behind , ive done the first step by leaving something big and important to me , i've planned every single detail about how the plan should go and ending it with my vacation with the singles club . i know its not a wise thing to do , but i think i have to , is either to find my own happiness or sacrifise my happiness to make other happy

:: i really looking forward to ..... ::

Im really looking forward to these events :

1 ) Ubin photoshoot

2) Ibu's Birthday

3) Shira's Birthday

4) Theater "tauke wayang " , Mr Am first debut on acting theater .

5 ) Fiza Teddie's Birthday

6) Am's bestfriend pre-wedding photoshoot

7 ) Of course, My birthday

8 ) Bangkok trip with am, syahid, yanto, shira, faizal and yani .


and of course, between these events , im looking forward to my besties and single's club lepak sessions, watching movies and my photography understudy program . *wink*wink*

:: too much waves ::

Latest updates

My friends and i are all down with flu and fever , hahaha, too much of Henderson Waves i guess

:: the day when i decided to dressed differently::

After the Flea Market and Henderson Waves drama , i reached home around 3am , i quickly start doing my slides presentation for my joint learning program at the mosque .

I finished up at ard 630am in the morning, did my morning prayers and rush to the mosque



Ustazah : eh, u looked so different ?
Me : yea, and i feel different too, i havent sleep since yesterday .
Ustazah :no , not that , u wearing Jubah !
Me : apa jer ustazah



When i walk towards the assembly hall, all of them are looking at me curiously

Me : Assalamualaikum
Them : Walaikumsalam Ustazah

Boy : Wahh, ustazah u looked so alim today
Girl : U are wearing jubah and socks, im impressed !

I was looking at them blushing ( dalam hati, alamak penting ke nak kene cakap depan orang ! )

Girl whispering to me : Why r u dressed like dis, u looked so different
Me : because i have presentation and we going to have a lot of people coming .

So after a 3 hours interactive session with the other 80 students from other mosques

Boys : Ustazah , can u please promise me not to be angry when i tell u something
Me : Ok , but make it a good one .
Boys : Can u please dont dressed up like dis next week , u looked very fierce , dah tak gerek
Girls : i prefer u wearing jeans and loong sleeves shirts .
Me : yea ,i love wearing jeans too and i promise myself not to dresses up like dis again .

:: Finally, Henderson Waves ::

I always wanted to go to Henderson Waves to experience the view and of course for hobby purpose , but apa nak buat, no one wants to teman me .

So yesterday after dinner, we were discussing about when should we lepak as the malam masih muda ,Izhar suggested we went to Henderson Waves , i was thrilled and super excited of course , but tak buat kecoh ar, excited dalam hati jer .
Mind you, we were there at around 10 plus , and have to walk through the forest walk , semua muka action berani .













After a few group shots , we chatted , a few interesting topics were brought up by some of us, regarding mati , hari kiamat, prophet and of course, pasal kawin , haha, mentang2 ada bride and groom to be . cakap punya cakap, it almost 2am and there are still alot of people wandering around the bridge.
I shall say , yesterday outing was the best and the most memorable one , dont ask me why , but i guess the others felt the same way too ...

:: 2nd hand market @ Tanglin Mall ::

Yesterday , my friends and i tried our luck in selling our personal belongings at Tanglin Mall Flea Market , eventhough it was raining heavily, there still a huge crowd , Filipinos rate ,Foreigners , students and even makciks are there . better to sell off u thing dari terperuk jer dalam almari , kan ! kan ! kan !

:: on being ignorant ::

When someone starts to be ignorant to u , it is because

a) is very busy with lots of other important things
b) seriously dislikes you
c) doesn’t want to be associated with you
d) has been thinking that "everything is about u "
e) is pms-ing really badly
f) is too caught up with personal issues .
g) doesn’t want to be disturbed
h) recently got attached and is busy with the new partner?
i) having big trouble
j) found a new friend
k) is bored of you and the others

""Whenever I’m alone and think of all the good times I used to share with close friends I regarded like my own siblings, I sometimes have these niggly thoughts in my head. In the past, we were close, seeing each other on a regular basis, have regular feasting sessions together, celebrating each other’s birthdays, go on trips etc. That was when all of us were still swinging singles.

Sometimes I ask myself, have I done anything wrong to irk them??? Have I said things that may have hurt them??? Have I not been there when they needed my presence??? It feels sad sometimes when you get cold replies or one liners when you sms or email to say “Hi” and “How have you been doing???”. It’s like you have been totally scrapped from their lives and not knowing what you have done to be deserved of such treatment. I’m sure most of you out there have been caught in this kind of situation before and perhaps feeling the same thing as you read this entry of mine.""

i totally can relate on this, taken from someone else blog

:: nurul tsurayaa birthday party ::

but again, its just the picture of us

:: he just could'nt let go ::

he just coulnt let go, he loves it too much,
ukasyah , don't worry , nanti ummi pasang pole kat rumah k ! *wink wink*

:: on trusting your gut feeling ::

some people really trust their gut feeling
for the first time today , i felt uneasy
my gut feeling told me that they are keeping something
but again , its just a gut feeling
should i trust my gut feeling ?

"apa pun yang terjadi , berjalan la tanpa henti"

:: appreciation ::

i love my parents
i love my siblings
i love my best friends
i love my "lepak" friends
i love my sisters
i love my aunties
i love my cousins
and i love my life

ok , i know this is weird , but i think i never really expressed how i feel to anyone , but right now , i'm so feel "loved" by everyone , nothing special happened , met no one but i can feel the love

or

maybe this is the "pms" talking

:: oh Zara ::

2008 is the year i paling banyak visit babies .and setiap kali i visit babies , i impressed with their names , long and unique ..... here are some of the names :

Shaik Ukasyah Rayyan

Eriqa Rindiani

Aniq ****************** Riyan ( i can't remember the unique name in the middle )

Joshua Anaqillah ( something like that ) but when the mother first time mention the baby's name , i was like "uh? apa ? anak dila ? " and her husband laugh out loud .

Keisha Nazihah

i even wonder how they came out with that names

for me , i want my daughter to have name starting with "zara" because i love Zara , i love mango too but takkan nak letak nama anak Mango eh , kesian anak aku nanti .

:: mana nak dapat eh ::

Today , after a few days of "strike " from doing housework , i decided to cook my parent's favourite dish , ikan belado , im not a big fan of fish , so u can imagine how freaked i was when my mum asked me to cut and wash the fish . i actually pujuk my mum , telling her that she can ask me to do everything but not cutting the fish ...but she insisted . so tak nak jadi anak durhaka, i did ,but during the attempt of cutting the fish, i accidently cut my finger .

ibu : mana ade orang potong ikan tutup mata .

me : kan i told u , i tak pandai and tak nak potong ikan

ibu : eh , nanti ur husband nak makan ikan camne ?

me : senang jer , cari laki yang tak makan ikan , like me .......

ibu : tunggu la sampai tua ......( and i can see disappointment at her face, she must be saying "apa nak jadi ngan anak dara aku "


so people , please doa for me , so i can get a future husband who don't like to eat fish , so i tak payah gi pasar or cut the fish ...

:: surgery ::

Sinus is a common thing
for me , running nose and blocked nose is a common
it runs in my family ,on my mum's side
but for the past few weeks
my sinus became worst
i can't sleep
i can't be in an aircon room
i sneeze alot and continuously , ( hahaha, imagine that ! )
i can't do housework ,
i easily feel lethargic and very tired

a few visits to the polyclinics and private doctor, they prescribe me the same medicine but it doesnt work at all .

my mum suggested to go for traditional herbs treatment , but after knowing how the procedure and torturous it will be , i decided to look for other alternative

So yesterday night , i surfed youtube looking for sinus surgery procedure ,and came across a video of a surgery that performed by Dr kevin Soh














I emailed him and make an appoinment with him

after doing scope

he said that i seriosuly need to have surgery , not 1 but 2 surgery !

ok now , im run out of idea nak tulis, if rajin, i sambung balik apa doctor cakap

:: i don't understand ::

:: should i be angry ? ::

i made that thing from scratch
its my creation
i took the picture
i edited the pictures
and
the pictures are posted in someone else's blog .

please tell me , What should i do ?

:: on being stronger ::

I'll never go back.
The things I've had to experience have made me stronger.
I wouldn't change those moments for anything in the world.
Because without them I wouldn't be the real me

:: money ::

Do you really think that money is everything ?
NO , money is not everything
but
we need money in our daily necessities

a few weeks ago, one of my friends asked me this Q
is having money is one of ur criteria to marry a guy ?
and i said : NO , i dont need his money

maybe at that point, some of them thought that im just too ego to admit or too proud of myself
i have my reasons for saying No .

I've came acrossed alot of unhappiness with money , too many , just too many

a husband controlling his wife with money
a mother brainwashing her kids about how rich they are and how poor their cousins is
a father told her daughter not to be too close to her aunt because she has alot of debt
a sister can be rude and bitching about each other
a girlfriend can hate her boyfriend because he always spent
and many other unhappy events

On being ignorant , i know some of my friends are frustrated , dealing with my ignorance , but i felt better .

:: IGNORANCE ::

it does work ......

:: everybody loves ukasyah ::

:: untitled ::

i though by making myself to hate him will make me leave
but it doesn't
the feeling becomes stronger

:: my wishlist ::

Nikon D300

Incredible Me perfume

A diamond Ring

yea, yea , yea, i know its ridiculous , but its MY wish list