:: Singapore Garden Festival 2008 ::

When :

:: Maryam & 'Aliyyah ::

:: untittled ::

Where you used to be,
there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell.

July Babies

This month of July , im the proud aunty for 4 new nephews and nieces
1) Shaik Ukasyah Rayyan , son to my dearest best friend Nurul Shefa
2) Maryam & 'Aliyyah , daughters to my cousin ,abg adi and kak Aisyah
3) Ahmad Ilham Fatih , son to my bestfriend, Diyanti

Congratulation to them , will upload their pic asap !

:: nephew ::

:: My Dearest Shaik Ukasyah Rayyan ::

Congratulation to my dearest best friend Shefa
the night before he was born , all of us were out celebrating and enjoying ourselves , maybe he was enjoying himself too sebab tu bila dah keluar pon, muka senyum jer...

:: 10 years and counting ::

This year, mark 10 years of our friendship
Shira, Huda, Ida and Shefa

:: untitled ::

During time like this , i can really see who is really cares for me and who don't .
Having a few group of friends always makes me wonder which one of them will be there for me .
but suprisingly, orang yang di harapkan to be there for me, lansung takde or can easily say "alah, sudah la, u muda , get on with ur life !" and ada few who totally blamed me for wat happen . People who yg i betul2 tak sangka that will amik berat about me, really do , they call me EVERYDAY, smsed me EVERYDAY, spent time with me EVERYDAY, and they are working too, busy, got kids, got commitment !, even one of my friend who is LABOUR WARD, nak beranak, can still call me and asked about my well being padahal she in labour pain, really touched me .

To them, thanks for being there when i needed u the most , i believe , our friendship will be ever stronger in times to come .

:: just for u ::

:: untitled ::

it hit me hard when he told me she got someone else

somehow i felt pity for him

patching up things with u wont happen

yes i admit i missed u badly, but its just a matter of time before it will go away

i can still feel the excuriating pain when u walk away on me

stop begging me

it just wont happen

:: its different ::

the difference between us is
u moved on and pretend nothing happened and im just broken broken

:: kekasih gelapku ::

One of my favourite indonesian song is "kekasih gelapku" by Ungu, i will always repeat the song again and again in my ipod, and same jugak at his car, i ever told him that i really loves the lyric, very meaningful, tapi tak pernah sangka pulak, im one of the kekasih gelap. serve me right !

:: Lurving myself ::

updates !

- Start working and loving it !
- More tuitions and loving it !
- New Business plan and loving it !
- New HTC DIAMOND and loving it !
- New SHOES and loving it !
- New clothes and loving it !
- He got cheated and im loving it !
- New activities , and basically occupied almost everyday .

The pieces don't fit anymore

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small. I've been drawing the line and watching it fall and fall apart. Well seriously i can't explain why it's not enough. If u leave me now, it's the better thing to do, it's time to surrender, it's been too long pretending. There's no use in trying when the pieces don't fit anymore.

You pulled me under, if i had to give in. I'll hide all the bruises and all the damages that's done, but i show how i'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

Please don't misunderstand how i feel cause i've tried. But still i don't know

:: Can i make a mistake and miss my fate ? ::

just wondering

:: the breakup ::

Yesterday, i officially broke up with the person who i really tot that im going to spent the rest of my life with, it really do hurt me alot, i was like crying for the whole day but somehow i realise that its a very stupid thing to do , i started to look for answers and causes and wat when wrong in my relationship,.

Yesterday, somewhere around punggol, He decided to choose her over me , and dis is his REASONS for not choosing me

- im too INDEPENDENT
- im too career minded
- im too PERFECT
- everything around me is perfect, good friends and family
- and I HAVE AN EXPENSIVE TASTE

and he kept saying that i deserve a better guy , and im strong to get thru dis , he was praising me all along infront of the OTHER girl . he said that he need someone who needed him , unlike me.

i cant sleep the whole night crying, blaming myself for being independent , and kept asking myself what went wrong.

But today , i realised that somehow is a blessing to me , maybe there is something in store for me in the future, after meeting up with friends, they actually made me felt better , now im seeing it in a positive way , actually its not bad to be independent and not dependent to someone else

O Allah , Please Help me

"Love is Blind" that is the most famous quote that all people loves to use, i used to think that dis qoute tak boleh pakai, but now i realised that saying is really meaningful

What if i regret after making the decision?

Can i adapt with the major changes that's going to change my life?

Can i be a good, loving and caring mother ?

Can i really forgive and forget?

Can i live with the fact that something from his past will be part of me forever ?

O' Allah , i really need ur guidance , pls show me the right past

:: untitled 2nd July 2008 ::

Keinginan tanpa kepastian

Tak mampu rasanya untuk ku teruskan

Biarlah ku relakan segala

Dalam hidupku sebuah tanda tanya

Biarpun tak mampuku bertahan

Tak akan pernahku akui kalah

Tiada jalan mungkinku lalui

Tuhanku ku relakan segala

Takkan pernahku akui kalah

Percayaku yakin padanya

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