: december 2007 :

its ur pathetic life

everybody have their own rite in choosing their way of life
and im very sure u have ur own rite in making decision in your life
after all is ur pathetic life
and i feel its not just ur life is pathetic, u are pathetic too
i assumed that u have deleted me from ur list of friends because u always feel insecure of yourself
i dont trust anybody rite now except for my beloved parents,
dont tell me how to live my life if ur leading a pathetic life
you really need a wakeup call
seriously
seriously

:: my family gathering is more important then your roti john ::

My family precious to me
my parents
my siblings
my aunties
my uncles
my cousins
They are everything
I'm nothing without them



flying is important to you
family is important to me

u want to fly ? , let me be with my family, deal ?

:: Top 5 questions during Hari Raya house visit ::

1. "eh, datang sorang jer ker ? suami nyer mana ??"
   
   

sejak bila pulak aku kawin, im still single and available lar, i've been asked this question since my cousin got married around 4 years ago, tapi yang kawin tu lelaki , if i got laki , takkan la i jalan with my parents kan ..

2. "ni yg sekolah kat johor tu eh? bila balik cuti ?

i hate when people asked me this question, harlooo, im only 13 years old when im schooling in Johor, Now, im 23 already , graduated from aljunied , worked for 2 years, been in law school for 2 years, and completed my business diploma ...this is sooooo ridiculous , i told my mum, if ada orang tanya dis stupid question, i will just shout at his or her face, ingatkan orang takde life kaper??


3 . "munah bila nak jamu kita nasi minyak ?!"

anytime ar, just call me , nanti i bawak gi tekka, makan nasi minyak


4. " ade boyfriend? jangan kawin dulu, berjasa ngan ibu ayah, kasi dorang hidup senang"

dis quotation is usually my dad side suka cakap, jgn kawin siang2, belajar dulu, kerje dulu , kasi mak bapak senang, hahah, tapi most of my cousins-yang -jumpa-setahun sekali or cousins yg i dont even know they exist , semua dah kawin !


5 ." dah ade calon ker belom? if u single and available, cik boleh cari kan ! "

sorry ar cik, im not desprate !

:: Selamat Hari Raya 2007 ::

September Pictures

:: just want to let u noe ::

i went thru the same process with some other applicant
and i got it for the second time
but my parents wont allow me


so people,

i do have brain OK !! and im not stupid !



and dont tell me its luck !

when boys become men

for the first time,
i saw his softer side,
he hugged me for the first time when we took picture together,
i could sense his feeling sad since morning
from his face, i know ,he's crying inside

but he remain cool


and i tried my best not to cry


when its time to leave the house,
he salam all of us





and cried

for the first time, i saw him crying (sejak dah besar la kan)


and all of us crying, udin, oshin, fit, ali and me



maybe lepas tu semua paisey nak tunjuk muka nangis,semua buat hal masing2, udin masuk my room, oshin masuk toilet bilik, ali masuk toilet dapur, fit baring atas katil and i'm all alone in the living room





i wonder how my bro will survive there, can he do his own laundry?can he wake up on his own? can he do his bed?seriously im very worried for him, but this is a good opportunity for him to be independent, no more kakak or ibu to help him :D


everybody sat quietly during iftar, i guess everyboday terasa that he's not around
then suddenly my father said, "tadi on the way to tekong, abg kata, dia nangis sebab bukan takut kene NS, tapi dia sedih nak tingalkan korang, dia sayang u all, he will miss u all"


it just make me felt so sad, and semua dah start nak nangis ......




lepas solat magrib, semua mata merah2, including my dad




since kecik lagi, i and ibrahim memang selalu sangat gadoh, time kecik2 dulu, kita gaduh pasal berebut nak picit lift la, nak masuk rumah dulu la, sapa hafal time table paling cepat etc..etc... even sampai dah besar gini pon, masih selalu gaduh... gaduh nak pakai computer, nak tgk tv, yang paling best, gaduh nak masuk toilet, always happen....


tapi now bila dia takde, i miss him pulak...
i think, everybody in dis house miss him

oshin miss him because takde orang nak layan dia
udin miss him because dah takde orang nak main car race track with him
ali miss him because dah takde orang nak campak2 baju kat bilik
fit miss him because no one to layan his merepekness
ayah miss him because no one nak teman him tengok bola
and the one who misses him the most, is my mum, sebab no one can joke ard with her



we're looking forward for his return on the 28



and im crying while typing dis entry

:: sorry miss mai , u're not in the list !! ::

Kegagahan seorang wanita bukan kepada pejal otot badan, tetapi pada Kekuatan perasaan. Perempuan yang gagah, adalah:-

1) Perempuan yang tahan menerima sebuah kehilangan


2) Perempuan yang tidak takut pada kemiskinan


3) Perempuan yang tabah menanggung kerinduan setelah ditinggalkan


4) Perempuan yang tidak meminta-minta agar dipenuhi segala keinginan."




alamak, im sooooo not int the list !!!!



i tak gagah ker ?!?!??!!

:: perfect ::

im happy today

thanks for the suprise

it was perfect

everything is so beautiful

im happy

all i need to do now is pray



allahumma layyinli qalbahu kama luyyinat lidawadil hadid


ameen

:: official photos are out !! ::

- Girls Who Like Dad Favor Partners Who Look Like Him

"Study adds to evidence that mate selection is active process rooted in childhood -- Robert Preidt SUNDAY, June 17 (HealthDay News) --

Women who had a good childhood relationship with their father are more likely to choose partners who resemble their father, new research suggests.

The study, published in the July issue of the journal Evolution and Human Behavior by British and Polish psychologists, also found that women who had a negative/less positive childhood relationship with their father weren't attracted to men who looked like their father.

The researchers had 49 Polish women (eldest daughters) look at pictures of 15 faces and choose the one they found most attractive. Their selections were compared to their fathers' faces. The women were also asked to rate their childhood relationship with their father.

The findings offer new insight into how people select partners and the effect that parents have on the process, the researchers said. Until recently, it was believed that this parental influence was a passive process. But this study adds to growing evidence that it's actually an active process.

The results of this study 'show for certain that the quality of a daughter's relationship with her father has an impact on whom she finds attractive. It shows our human brains don't simply build prototypes of the ideal face based on those we see around us, rather they build them based on those to whom we have a strongly positive relationship. We can now say that daughter who have very positive childhood relationship with their fathers choose men with similar facial characteristics to their fathers, "study author Dr, Lynda Boothroyd of Durham University said in a prepared statement .

:: i'm missing you ::

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
The face I came to know is missing too
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
We were made for each other
Out here forever I know we were,
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me

Being 20ish

i asked myself bout wat had i achieved in my twenties

pikir


pikir


pikir


i just realised , i havent achieved apa2 yg boleh di bangga kan


so wasted !!!

Being 20ish

i asked myself bout wat had i acheived in my twenties

pikir


pikir


pikir


i just realised , i havent achieved apa2 yg boleh di bangga kan


so wasted !!!

:: dia buat lagi !!!! ::

To Whom It May Concern

Dont tell me wat time to go home
Dont ask me where am i
Dont tell me that im spending too much time with my friends
Dont tell me that im spending too much time with my sisters
Dont tell me that im spending too much time reading
Dont tell me that im sleeping too much

I have my own priorities

My Family
My Sisters
My Best Friends
My Girls @ SGH
My studies
My shoes
My night life

Cant you see that ur not on the list ?!?!

so stop telling me wat to do !

Dont forget ,
u cheated on me with a 200 pound-tak lawa-not sexy-fat-curly hair like maggi mee-women
so now, i dont trust you

Dont forget ,
if nak fikir tu biar pakai akal bukan nafsu

:: peaceful ::

i can still remember the feeling when i went to dis place
so quiet , peace and fresh air
its really a stress reliever
from the picture, u can see how peaceful the place is

:: Super Single Behaviour ::

Super Single Behaviour

yes, i do enjoy my singlehood
i can simply decide everything by myself
boleh bangun lambat
boleh tido lambat

hmmm

Lonely?
yes, sometimes, maybe once in a blue moon, bila no fren to watch movie, when no one to talk to

Frusturated ?
yes, only when i received "kad saman" from my junior or got to noe my frens dah ade anak
or when i hear dis "bila kau nak kawin? takkan nak belajar jer ?" or when ade orang pandai pandai matchmake me with someone who i dont even noe he existed.

Enjoy ?
yes, no curfew, i can go where i want,
i can plan my holiday anytime
when i can do everything that i want !
spa ,manicure , pedicure,movie , chill out

So
Married, engaged or attached friends
stop telling me to get married
im simply enjoying myself
:D

:: sanah helwa ya habibati !! ::

Sanah Helwa YA Habibati !!!
To my dearest Blossom and Baby Nur
Semoga di panjang kan umur
Dimurahkan Rezeki
Disenangkan Perjalanan Dalam Menuntut Ilmu
I love dearest sister, lillah
** Hugs **

Friends Forever Photoshoot

:: Simply Us ::

My Best Friends
Us having Dinner together
no no, that is not my kids, itu anak saeidah ok !!

i love.....

GODIVA rasberry chocolate ice blend
i love it.......

unpredictable mood swing

my unpredictable mood swing

dis morning when i wake up, i felt sooo mendak, so wat i did is i cancel my tuition , so went back to sleep until tengah hari buta, so i tot by the time i wake up , my mood will get better, but its getting worse and worse, the house was messy, so all my brothers kene torture kemas rumah, takde orang berani nak jawab, muahaha

Later ard 4pm , after reading some lecture notes , i tot of going out for a drink, kopi bean or starbuck, tapi hujan, again my mood dah ruined, ( i tk salahkan hujan tau, tapi ni semua nasib )
so apa lagi, i tido la sampai magrib.

After magrib i decided to upload some pics that i took yesterday, while uploading the picture, i accidentally tercabut the cable, haiz.....ntah camne ntah BANYAK picture hilang !!, makin bad mooooooood

so today i most of the time i locked myself in room and sleep

and im thinking, wats wrong with me

my mood swing really effect my siblings and all people around me

i think kan, i might used all my good mood yesterday

so there is no more good mood for today

new lecturer

"miss mai, can u sit infront here ?"
of couse, no problem ( dis time i masih baik ar )


"miss mai , do u noe wat is new paper ?"
yes, i read it everyday ( answer with a smiling face )


"miss mai, how many pens do u need in ur pencil case ?"
more than 10 i guess , ( ni i dah start nak get irritated )


"miss mai , why do u need so much pens?"
(staring at his face ) because i like to write


"miss mai, do u chat online ??"
( look at him mcm dah tak kuasa nak jawab ) yes, every nite , do u want my email add, incase u want to chat with me ( ni i dah start sarcastic )


"miss mai , r u chinese ??"
(my classmate dah ketawa2,), nope, im not chinese


"miss mai, do u noe who is goh chok tong?"
of course

"miss mai, do u noe who is lee kuan yew?"
of course la !! ( tahap kesabaran ku di uji )

"miss mai, wat do u noe who is mahatma ghandi?"
ouuuu, yeah, i noe, i saw him act in a tamil film, he's cute, botak rite??
( haha!, member terus terdiam, dia tau i dah boring nak jawab , but lepas tu, i jawab la betul2, i noe sapa mahatma ghandi )



i guess there is alot more question psl miss mai...... yg i tak tulis kat sini

5 hours of lecture is simply too much,
so after break , i cabut !!, migraine !!

parah ar.....

12 more session of lecture with mr nair until 4 october, fuuuhh~~

dis is wat happen when u come early to class !

to genaa, elnore, kevin, wayne, diyana and louise
thanks for making fun of me , i noe u all really enjoyed it !!

less than 2 months

exam is just around the corner, less than 7 weeks
dis mean that my ticket privilage pon expire less than 7 weeks
i need to use my tix asap
tapi nak gi mana??
any suggestion ??

Eid Biladi

Today, Singapore celebrate 42 years of independence, basically i spent the whole day at home doing household chores ( boy, i sounded like a housewife ) , marking rosyth primary 6 test paper and of course study for my exams.

by ard 4pm, im totally alone @ home, lazing around watching cerita mama at vasantham central, at the same time, watching grey's anatomy and chatting at my lappy, marking test paper...woahh, i can really multi task....

towards the end of the NDP , i baru teringat yang last year, i celebrate national day @ malaysia, i can still remember, singapore student walking around the campus wearing red and white, guys with white shirt and red tie, and a red jubah for the women and a white tudung, very patriotic kan !! , and its unbelievable when im one of them, ( i think kan, at that time , i mesti tgh rindu banget nak balik sg ) , after class singapore student gather at the conference room, to celebrate national day by singing some song, ( lagu rakyat, kwang kwang kwang ), pledge, makan2, and try to get connection to see national day parade, and of course i can still remember how my frens and i really miss singapore at that time.



i guess , when u were born and raised in singapore , u will feel how much u miss ur country when ur travelling , i've travel to many countries before, but everytime the fun of travelling is over i will start to miss singapore badly.. wanting to return as soon as possible , i even had a bad time adapting myself in malaysia, i can still remember how i will compare and complaint bout everything, and sometimes if tak tahan sangat, i will cry

yes, sometime i feel that , there is nothing that singapore can offer me
( bukan sometimes ar, i think all the time )

but

in dis small island,



where all my frens and family live

and people make mistakes .....

Nov 06 : im sorry bout wat happen, it beyond my control .....benda nak jadi, apa i boleh buat......

April 07 : how long r u going to torture me, people make mistakes u noe, sedangkan nabi ampun kan umat, takkan u cannot forgive me.

i just hate it when people used that line, yes, people do make mistakes, kita ni semua bukan la ma'sum, semua buat kesilapan but sebelum buat mistakes tu tak boleh ke pakai akal fikiran untuk berfikir sama ade benda yang nak di buat tu betul ke salah, some mistake di lakukan dengan tidak sengaja, ok la itu boleh la di maafkan, tapi tengok jugak reason, but mistakes yg boleh dielakkan tapi tetap berlaku juga, dont tell me mistake is part of fate, allah kasi manusia otak untuk berfikir, if everything goes menurut fate, then manusia tak perlu belajar, kerje, or berusaha, sebab dah fate pe.. memang allah dah tentukan jodoh, rezeki, ajal dan maut.. but kita tetap perlu berusaha and GUNAKAN AKAL FIKIRAN. and FYI, i bukan nabi, saya hanya la seorang hamba yang sendiri banyak buat dosa, so i need to think before dapat memaafkan seseorang.

alwan

"RED IS ANGER
1. Are you currently mad at someone?
- yeap, since last year

2. Which of your family members has the
worst temper?
- ME !!

3. Have you ever thrown something at
anyone?
- always !, i think

4. Is anyone mad at you?
- so far, no one

YELLOW IS SELF DISCOVERY
1. Name?
- Mai

2. What is your career plan for the
future?
- get out from singapore and work overseas

3. What's your main goal in life?
- happiness .

4. Do you want to have children?
- of course !!

ORANGE IS EXCITEMENT
1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise
party for you?
- yepp :)

2. If you won a million dollars, what
would be your first thought?
- beli keperluan saje :p , ya rite, i will buy shoeeeees and holidayyyy !!!!

3. If you could have anything right now
what would it be?
- that person !

GREEN IS OPINION
1. Lower the drinking age?
- no !

2. Abortion?
- no wayy .

3. War?
- peace, dude :)

4. Global Warming?
- hmmph .

PURPLE IS Q&A
Q: How many beds did you lay in today?
- 1 .

Q: What color shirt are you wearing?
- black .

Q: Name one thing that you do everyday?
- sleep

Q: What website(s) do you visit the
most
- friendster, blogspot. hotmail

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
- nopey

hey ! , i need a complete picture of us, Baby nur is always missing .... we need to have another photoshoot urgently !!

i just want u to noe

i can tell u everything
i can act normally araound u
i can show u my true colours

u are a secret sharer
u are a great consultant
u are a comfort giver

we give each other great advice
we help each other thru up and downs
we give each other make up tips
we shop for each other
we dont compliment each other

i begin to realise
how much u care for me
i maybe the most upredictable-attitude-arrogant-women
but all of u can tolerate me
you know as well as i do

All of you will always piut in a special place in my heart
As my best friend
But most of all
As a sister of mine
and i need all of you
Till the day i die

dedicated to my sister, blossom, tedd, pink and baby nur

......

"should i trust the men because of his manners or his believes ?"

Why ?

it happened again,

dah tak tau untuk kali kebrapa,

i just wondering why,

im extremely broken hearted rite now

why?

a night @ KL

last friday, bloss and i went to KL for a short trip, as a result of dis plan-jadi-tak jadi-and-pergi-tak jadi pergi , ive gain 2 kg in one night, but, i really enjoy eating ( if nak tgk pic, gi dis webby, www.withinmyneurons.blogspot.com) and enjoy myself, dis is the first time bloss and i spent time together without the other sisters, we went to damansara new shopping centre, "the curve" , buat foot spa, and makan kat TGIF , then we head back to bukit bintang, then we went to BB Bistro as usual for the live band performance, gitu gini gitu gini, jalan2 jalan, we headed back to hotel ard 3am.

nuthing much lepas tu, melainkan jalan2 kat KLCC the next day, makan and makan lagi



i really need a break again, dis time not KL, i nak NZ jugak, i dont care, nak gi NZ jugak !!!!!

tired

a very interesting week i had
went out fiza on monday
skip school on tuesday, kene jaga adik
tuiton as usual on wednesday and mit fiza
ziarah and had lunch with mummy and auntie mala. mit fiza and abi for drink
shopping with dian and as usual, Singapore girl's home in the evening
watch transformers @ cathay with kids,bloss and kids , baby nur and teddie
slacking ard with huda, ami, tsaqib,ida and farhan until 3am
tuition early in the morning
spring cleaning
cooked lunch
my favourite hobby, sleeeep until 8pm
for the first time in a few years i actually lipat baju, and i think its more than 100 pieces, and im proud of it


tmrw tuition early in the morning, 8am... woo hoooo