:: trust ::

"i don't trust u"

one single message from u changed everything

U trusted me when ur overseas

but

u dont trust me when u're back in Singapore

wth !

:: why ? why ? why ? ::

He cheated on you,
U stayed faithful to him

He scolded U infront of ur friends
U just keep quiet

He asked u to abort the baby
U followed his instruction

He strangled U while u are sleeping
U forgive Him

Is this what u called love ?
Bullshit !

Jadi pompan jangan jadi bodoh !

:: i don't care ::

its not about ego
i dont care who u are
i dont care what u did
seriouly , i don't care
so people , stop judging !

:: forgive & forget ....not ::

accidentally stumbled upon her profile

they are getting married less than 9 months

to be honest , im very upset

im not a forgiving person

as i said in the email , i will never forgive and forget

and i really hope he will get what he deserve.

:: 08.08.08 ::

suddenly , i remembered how it felt to be lonely again

I know i get over it

I've been thru it before

and i will get thru it this time

They will never understand

They will never stop talking

They will never stop assuming

and No One Will Ever Understand

:: untittled ::

Where you used to be,
there is a hole in the world,
which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime,
and falling in at night.
I miss you like hell.

:: untitled ::

it hit me hard when he told me she got someone else

somehow i felt pity for him

patching up things with u wont happen

yes i admit i missed u badly, but its just a matter of time before it will go away

i can still feel the excuriating pain when u walk away on me

stop begging me

it just wont happen

:: its different ::

the difference between us is
u moved on and pretend nothing happened and im just broken broken

:: kekasih gelapku ::

One of my favourite indonesian song is "kekasih gelapku" by Ungu, i will always repeat the song again and again in my ipod, and same jugak at his car, i ever told him that i really loves the lyric, very meaningful, tapi tak pernah sangka pulak, im one of the kekasih gelap. serve me right !

The pieces don't fit anymore

I've been twisting and turning in a space that's too small. I've been drawing the line and watching it fall and fall apart. Well seriously i can't explain why it's not enough. If u leave me now, it's the better thing to do, it's time to surrender, it's been too long pretending. There's no use in trying when the pieces don't fit anymore.

You pulled me under, if i had to give in. I'll hide all the bruises and all the damages that's done, but i show how i'm feeling until all the feeling has gone.

Please don't misunderstand how i feel cause i've tried. But still i don't know

:: the breakup ::

Yesterday, i officially broke up with the person who i really tot that im going to spent the rest of my life with, it really do hurt me alot, i was like crying for the whole day but somehow i realise that its a very stupid thing to do , i started to look for answers and causes and wat when wrong in my relationship,.

Yesterday, somewhere around punggol, He decided to choose her over me , and dis is his REASONS for not choosing me

- im too INDEPENDENT
- im too career minded
- im too PERFECT
- everything around me is perfect, good friends and family
- and I HAVE AN EXPENSIVE TASTE

and he kept saying that i deserve a better guy , and im strong to get thru dis , he was praising me all along infront of the OTHER girl . he said that he need someone who needed him , unlike me.

i cant sleep the whole night crying, blaming myself for being independent , and kept asking myself what went wrong.

But today , i realised that somehow is a blessing to me , maybe there is something in store for me in the future, after meeting up with friends, they actually made me felt better , now im seeing it in a positive way , actually its not bad to be independent and not dependent to someone else

:: untitled 2nd July 2008 ::

Keinginan tanpa kepastian

Tak mampu rasanya untuk ku teruskan

Biarlah ku relakan segala

Dalam hidupku sebuah tanda tanya

Biarpun tak mampuku bertahan

Tak akan pernahku akui kalah

Tiada jalan mungkinku lalui

Tuhanku ku relakan segala

Takkan pernahku akui kalah

Percayaku yakin padanya

Dia yang menentukan semua

:: rejection ::

All I’ve ever wanted was to live my dream with you. I was not lonely until now. Loneliness did not hit me because I saw everyone getting involved with one another, it came when I go to sleep knowing that someone no longer has me in his heart.

:: i'm missing you ::

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
The face I came to know is missing too
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
We were made for each other
Out here forever I know we were,
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me

:: dia buat lagi !!!! ::

To Whom It May Concern

Dont tell me wat time to go home
Dont ask me where am i
Dont tell me that im spending too much time with my friends
Dont tell me that im spending too much time with my sisters
Dont tell me that im spending too much time reading
Dont tell me that im sleeping too much

I have my own priorities

My Family
My Sisters
My Best Friends
My Girls @ SGH
My studies
My shoes
My night life

Cant you see that ur not on the list ?!?!

so stop telling me wat to do !

Dont forget ,
u cheated on me with a 200 pound-tak lawa-not sexy-fat-curly hair like maggi mee-women
so now, i dont trust you

Dont forget ,
if nak fikir tu biar pakai akal bukan nafsu

heart broken or broken hearted

im doing dis just for fun,im bored rite now

Let's see if you can get through it.
If not, you're too scared about the
truth.

1.Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

-if it was my parents , sisters anytime...
if it wasnt... then better dont

3.Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?

how long does the hurt last?
-years... and still counting... and its still hurt

5. Are you happier single or in a relationship?

-no difference... depends on who you
are with...

6.Have you ever cheated on someone?

-Never, se ingat i tak pernah ar
7.Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?

-im not sure if i lied or was lying to
myself...

8.Have you ever had your heart broken?

-all the time... its fun...

9.have you ever broken someone's heart?

-yeah but not proud of it..

10.Talk to any of your exes? when?

-nope... sms and MSN ... if i hate someone, wont talk to them again, try me !, they always sms or PM me when they ade prob, cause they noe i can solve their prob.


11.If you could go back in time and change things, would you?

-nope... because all wat ive gone thru make me mature

12.Think any of your exes feel the same?

-i dont want to know...
13.Do you believe that you are a good girlfriend/boyfriend?

-im not... i believe im not...

14.Have you been in an abusive relationship?

-hahaha... nope2

15. do u believe that everybody needs a second chance?

-definitely..... nope, they dont deserve a second chance, but i do

16.Do you believe in love at first
sight?

-used to... not anymore...

17.Do you want to get married?

-thats a yes... i do... of course


18.has anyone ever told you they
wanted to marry you?

-hmmm... maybe... i dunno if they are sincere or not


19.Ever liked someone else's boyfriend
or girlfriend?

-nope nope, laki orang pon tak pernah

20.Does heartbreak really feel as bad
as it sounds?

-hahah...its like a knife stab to ur heart, how bad does it sounds? two
parts to it... you feel real bad...
worse and worse by the day... till you
feel the worst... then you stop
feeling... so i dunno which is
worse... you tell me...

my last message for u .... and stop botherng me again

Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Light are low, the curtains down
Theres no one here

Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when theres no one around
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star

Ive always been in love with you
I guess youve always known its true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where youre breaking my heart
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown

Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played
No more masquerade, youre one lonely star
one lonely star and you dont know who you are
Say good-bye [All the world is a stage
And everyone has their part
But how was I to know which way the story go
How was I to know youd break

You break my heart
Ive always been in love with you