when boys become men

for the first time,
i saw his softer side,
he hugged me for the first time when we took picture together,
i could sense his feeling sad since morning
from his face, i know ,he's crying inside

but he remain cool


and i tried my best not to cry


when its time to leave the house,
he salam all of us





and cried

for the first time, i saw him crying (sejak dah besar la kan)


and all of us crying, udin, oshin, fit, ali and me



maybe lepas tu semua paisey nak tunjuk muka nangis,semua buat hal masing2, udin masuk my room, oshin masuk toilet bilik, ali masuk toilet dapur, fit baring atas katil and i'm all alone in the living room





i wonder how my bro will survive there, can he do his own laundry?can he wake up on his own? can he do his bed?seriously im very worried for him, but this is a good opportunity for him to be independent, no more kakak or ibu to help him :D


everybody sat quietly during iftar, i guess everyboday terasa that he's not around
then suddenly my father said, "tadi on the way to tekong, abg kata, dia nangis sebab bukan takut kene NS, tapi dia sedih nak tingalkan korang, dia sayang u all, he will miss u all"


it just make me felt so sad, and semua dah start nak nangis ......




lepas solat magrib, semua mata merah2, including my dad




since kecik lagi, i and ibrahim memang selalu sangat gadoh, time kecik2 dulu, kita gaduh pasal berebut nak picit lift la, nak masuk rumah dulu la, sapa hafal time table paling cepat etc..etc... even sampai dah besar gini pon, masih selalu gaduh... gaduh nak pakai computer, nak tgk tv, yang paling best, gaduh nak masuk toilet, always happen....


tapi now bila dia takde, i miss him pulak...
i think, everybody in dis house miss him

oshin miss him because takde orang nak layan dia
udin miss him because dah takde orang nak main car race track with him
ali miss him because dah takde orang nak campak2 baju kat bilik
fit miss him because no one to layan his merepekness
ayah miss him because no one nak teman him tengok bola
and the one who misses him the most, is my mum, sebab no one can joke ard with her



we're looking forward for his return on the 28



and im crying while typing dis entry