...

Friends don't owe. They just do. I believe in that. I've held that belief close to my heart always.

The things that we do for our friends are done because we want to. Because we are able to. Providing that shoulder when the rains set in. Morphing into a personal rah-rah team when mountains are conquered. We do it all because that's what friends do. And we do it all with no strings attached. We don't expect nor demand reciprocation.

It's not a tit-for-tat deal.

But sometimes, don't you feel a little sad that your friends don't quite treat you the same? We all walk the extra mile for a buddy but are we wrong to feel sad when our friends won't even lace-up their walking shoes for us?

I've been feeling like that of late. Disillusioned with the people around me. I tried to shake it off. Doesn't seem to work.

I know now that I could never depend on the friends around me.

Understand that I don't blame them. Understand too that it hurts like hell when I realise that the people whom I would go out on a limb for, would not even bother to throw me a rope when it breaks.

I'm tired. Tired of trying.

It was a mistake letting people in. Mistake to tear down the wall that I had carefully constructed. Mistake to let that first person in. Mistake to believe in the goodness of people.

It's a mistake that I will never commit again.