:: On doing my part and moved on with life ::

What i have done for the past few days ( since i got back from Bangkok to be exact )

- I was so busy with Al Ansar maulid preparation, one of my student are selected to make a presentation for the maulid and i was appointed to guide her . Mariam did a good job , and im proud of her .

- Had a very fruitful meeting with mega express communication .

- An eye opening meeting with tarmizi , once he was a low profile, average and invisible student at aljunied , now he's totally changed, more outspoken , confident . hope to work with u more on our upcoming projects .

- Had a very long chit chat cum supper session with kak yati, kak ita, abg sani husain and his wife at simpang bedok . its been a long time since i met them, tak lama sgt la, the last time is when i watched taukey wayang a musical.

- i missed my bestfriend's fiance birthday celebration due to work commitment , Happy Birthday Dedek !

- My schedule for may until july is fully packed, i have more than 4 events to oraganise , alot of planning , organising, and hiring to be done , currently looking for models can commit with me for 4 days in may and a certified cosmoprof makeup artist .

- Not been attending gym session for a week now , by the time i finished all my work, im too tired to run at the treadmill .

-wrote a confession note.some people might think that what i did is a bit desperate , but i see it as a way for me to release my stress and my wild thoughts that been hunting me since last year , i don't have the courage to penned everything that i felt at first, but after gathering so much guts , i did it ! , i penned every single thoughts and feeling that i had since last year. and i felt a HUGE relieve , yes a huge relieved ! , now i am more productive at work , giving more focus at upcoming projects . i told myself that i dont mind what is the outcome , but still deep inside i was hoping that i wont be experiencing any ""excruciating pain"" outcome . i know that i wont be able to survive another "pain" .

- Had a nice dinner at my favourite place Badoque with someone who-is-potentially-to-be-mr-right-according-to-my-mum , but not to me . ok, im not being choosy, i have my reasons .

-

:: why ? why ? why ? ::

He cheated on you,
U stayed faithful to him

He scolded U infront of ur friends
U just keep quiet

He asked u to abort the baby
U followed his instruction

He strangled U while u are sleeping
U forgive Him

Is this what u called love ?
Bullshit !

Jadi pompan jangan jadi bodoh !

:: 2008 ups and downs ::

- first trip to KL with dian and dearest aunty , a happening one and unforgetable
- the whole family drove to KL to attend relatives wedding in KL, a total of 30 peoples staying in a 3 room apartment , imagine that, but its a fun experince for me .
- asissting a guy fren in his outdoor photoshoot at Singapore Zoo .
- My dearest grandfather passed away exactly 1 month from our last trip to KL .
- Fell in love
- Besties suprised me with a birthday dinner .
- Trip to jakarta with my bestie .
- Heartbroken , this experience really open my eyes , from this incident i can see who i can really rely on and whos not
- The birth of Shaik Ukasyah Rayyan , Maryam, Aliyyah ,Eriqa Rindiyani and Muhd Aniq
- Meeting old flame
- Dearest shahirah and faizal got engaged
- Im honoured to be their official photographer for the engagement ceremony
- Dearest Pink got married !
-Besides the night life and the outing, all of that shud sums up my 2008

:: forgive & forget ....not ::

accidentally stumbled upon her profile

they are getting married less than 9 months

to be honest , im very upset

im not a forgiving person

as i said in the email , i will never forgive and forget

and i really hope he will get what he deserve.

:: 08.08.08 ::

suddenly , i remembered how it felt to be lonely again

I know i get over it

I've been thru it before

and i will get thru it this time

They will never understand

They will never stop talking

They will never stop assuming

and No One Will Ever Understand

:: its different ::

the difference between us is
u moved on and pretend nothing happened and im just broken broken

:: hurt ::

trust is important


seriously,


im hurt


deeply hurt


how could he do this to me ?

:: stress mode ::

everything seems to be wrong


maybe my feelings are numb

:: just want to let u noe ::

i went thru the same process with some other applicant
and i got it for the second time
but my parents wont allow me


so people,

i do have brain OK !! and im not stupid !



and dont tell me its luck !

:: i'm missing you ::

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
The face I came to know is missing too
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it ok
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
We were made for each other
Out here forever I know we were,
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe
I need to feel you here with me

:: dia buat lagi !!!! ::

To Whom It May Concern

Dont tell me wat time to go home
Dont ask me where am i
Dont tell me that im spending too much time with my friends
Dont tell me that im spending too much time with my sisters
Dont tell me that im spending too much time reading
Dont tell me that im sleeping too much

I have my own priorities

My Family
My Sisters
My Best Friends
My Girls @ SGH
My studies
My shoes
My night life

Cant you see that ur not on the list ?!?!

so stop telling me wat to do !

Dont forget ,
u cheated on me with a 200 pound-tak lawa-not sexy-fat-curly hair like maggi mee-women
so now, i dont trust you

Dont forget ,
if nak fikir tu biar pakai akal bukan nafsu

:: Super Single Behaviour ::

Super Single Behaviour

yes, i do enjoy my singlehood
i can simply decide everything by myself
boleh bangun lambat
boleh tido lambat

hmmm

Lonely?
yes, sometimes, maybe once in a blue moon, bila no fren to watch movie, when no one to talk to

Frusturated ?
yes, only when i received "kad saman" from my junior or got to noe my frens dah ade anak
or when i hear dis "bila kau nak kawin? takkan nak belajar jer ?" or when ade orang pandai pandai matchmake me with someone who i dont even noe he existed.

Enjoy ?
yes, no curfew, i can go where i want,
i can plan my holiday anytime
when i can do everything that i want !
spa ,manicure , pedicure,movie , chill out

So
Married, engaged or attached friends
stop telling me to get married
im simply enjoying myself
:D

and people make mistakes .....

Nov 06 : im sorry bout wat happen, it beyond my control .....benda nak jadi, apa i boleh buat......

April 07 : how long r u going to torture me, people make mistakes u noe, sedangkan nabi ampun kan umat, takkan u cannot forgive me.

i just hate it when people used that line, yes, people do make mistakes, kita ni semua bukan la ma'sum, semua buat kesilapan but sebelum buat mistakes tu tak boleh ke pakai akal fikiran untuk berfikir sama ade benda yang nak di buat tu betul ke salah, some mistake di lakukan dengan tidak sengaja, ok la itu boleh la di maafkan, tapi tengok jugak reason, but mistakes yg boleh dielakkan tapi tetap berlaku juga, dont tell me mistake is part of fate, allah kasi manusia otak untuk berfikir, if everything goes menurut fate, then manusia tak perlu belajar, kerje, or berusaha, sebab dah fate pe.. memang allah dah tentukan jodoh, rezeki, ajal dan maut.. but kita tetap perlu berusaha and GUNAKAN AKAL FIKIRAN. and FYI, i bukan nabi, saya hanya la seorang hamba yang sendiri banyak buat dosa, so i need to think before dapat memaafkan seseorang.

Frusturation

i hate people yang suka take advantage

i buat cakes and cupcakes because i love to bake and hope that i can make money with it

i gi belajar buat cake tu BAYAR, ITS VERY EXPENSIVE, NOT FREE

some people jual cupcakes 14 pcs for $80, and 30 pcs for $150, i sell for onli $50 for 30 pcs,ade orang jual btw $2.00-$2.50 per cupcakes, but i sell online for $1.80 and u still says that expensive, idiot !! ingatkan orang buat tak pakai tenaga ??, tak payah bayar duit electric ??, ingatkan pasal kawan jer, mintak discount, nak murah, pikir uh orang lain, jangan penting kan diri sendiri, ni satu penyakit orang melayu, mentality kolot, selfish, walaupun my ic tulis that im malay,but IM NOT,

I SWEAR lepas ni no one will get any discount cakes or cupcakes from me, u nak kawin ke, ur birthday ker, childrens day ke, ur my best fren ke, makcik ke, cousin ke, wat the heck, business is business

people like u all , make my life miserable