Cupcakes !!!

lawa tak? hehe

my last message for u .... and stop botherng me again

Take a bow, the night is over
This masquerade is getting older
Light are low, the curtains down
Theres no one here

Say your lines but do you feel them
Do you mean what you say when theres no one around
Watching you, watching me, one lonely star

Ive always been in love with you
I guess youve always known its true
You took my love for granted, why oh why
The show is over, say good-bye

Make them laugh, it comes so easy
When you get to the part
Where youre breaking my heart
Hide behind your smile, all the world loves a clown

Wish you well, I cannot stay
You deserve an award for the role that you played
No more masquerade, youre one lonely star
one lonely star and you dont know who you are
Say good-bye [All the world is a stage
And everyone has their part
But how was I to know which way the story go
How was I to know youd break

You break my heart
Ive always been in love with you

-- .. ME .. --

suka- suka jer letak gambar...

so tgk je la k

them....

My Lovely Girls

Nurul Thahirah

Nur Saudatul Farah

Nurul Tsurayah

Saidah and Tsaqib

Ami......

important people in my life

im enjoying every single moment i spent with u guys

thanks for all the concern and support

tak sabar nak jumpa korang besok !!!

zaman cute...

Ibrahim, Huzali, Fitri
Dis pic, time dorg about kindergaten level
now semua dah besar- besar, tak cute lagi
i miss those time when the 3 of them were kids..
i love them alot
Brothers,
if u reading dis, i just want u to noe, i love u very much, walaupun korang selalu kene marah , i think almost everyday, but apa kakak buat its for ur own good, love u all dearly...

my dad

someone i respect

someone who loves me very much

someone who always by my side

i will miss u badly

infact sekarang jer i dah miss him(padahal my dad on night shift)

Love u Ayah

korang nak aku update kan, amik ni....

Now im officially

- dont care for other people
- OUT FROM everybody life
- wanted to be the person i was before

Confession....

im happy with the way i am now, and now i noe kenapa, some people doesnt want to be rapat with me lagi, maybe because i ni takde berduit, stupid, and i think im offically out from their list of VIP, tak pe, tak kisah, asal kan korg happy sudah, i maybe cakap i tak kisah dgn dorg semua , but deep inside, im deeply hurt, but gi mampos la, starting from now, i wont care for others, i will onli care for people who amik berat bout me, kalau cakap pasal being a better muslimah, everybody have their own way of being a better muslimah, i think wat im doing is rite, because no one is hurt dengan tingkah laku i, yes, memang i now dah berubah banyak, makin out spoken, makin tak kisah bout other people's feeling, i think im happy doing dis, takde selindung2, no one can judge me sama ada im ni baik or kasi bad influence kat orang, dah besar pikir pakai otak sendiri.

Counting...

soon im going to be 23, less than a month, i dont expect apa2 from sesapa, sebab i have no one lagi, onli kan harap my family and cousins, will celebrating ami's birthday insyaALLAh on the 8 of april. wont be celebrating my birthday sebab i have school, and tuition at night, now my daily routine consist of tuition-school-tuition,paling2 watch movie with aisha and zaf, gi muhammadiyah, do couselling work, 4pm group meeting,merayap with cik noraini no more time nak gi duduk minum teh..maybe once or twice a month need to keluar dinner or breakfast with mummy.

Grade C ustazah....

firstly , i was given grade c because i ade only STE from MUIS, so consider tak bagus sgt la, takpe, i pon dont care , secondly, i never regard myself as an ustazah, sebab i dont feel like an ustazah pon, and sebab i tak layak di panggil ustazah, i tak kasi my student to call me ustazah time tuition or luar dari school, kalau kat school mesti la kan. Ustazah is just a gelaran jer, tidak membuat seseorang tu alim atau pon apa, dia pon manusia biasa, ade kelebiham and kekurangan....some people call me ustazah hip or ustazah clubbing, bukan sesuatu yang patut di banggakan, at least they noe yang i ni flexible, balance. tak perpura-pura like some people



Lastly.....

Dear Bloss, i do miss u also, hahah, dont worry k, i be a good girl, walaupun i dah tak rapat ngan u mcm dulu, tapi kalau apa2 important, u will be the first i inform k, love u and miss u girl



and to sesapa yang block me kat msn tu, tak yah la nak block2, cos i tau jugak korang online.....selamat uh korang...

awkward reunion

meet him at mc donald lido while waiting for others to come
it was really awkward situation
tak kene gaya
then she came
dorg tak berbual,dah jadi makin tak kene gaya
she wanted to start conversation with him, but tak dilayan
the guy keep talking to me, ignoring her
dia dah put me in a very difficult situation
i really donno wat to do , both of them are my frens
then came all the others
we decide to go to lau pa sat
dari situ la prob start
i noe its my mistake sebab tompang moto dia
he purposely using me to get her jealous,
sengaja bawak moto laju2 so that i will hug him
and yes, i do hug him, that is my mistake
kat lau pa sat, she didnt talk to me at all,she ignore me
my best fren ignore me
then came another prob
he purposely put his hands kat pinggang
i was shocked


now, im in deep trouble, he told her that we going to get engaged dis april
and she totally believe it
she wont pick up my calls, wont hear my explanation



my life is falling apart

a few updates

-mak long passed away 2 days ago after suffering from colon cancer
- i won't be joining my family in Abu Dhabi as i just sign a 4 years bond
-will have a busy weekend, preparing cupcakes for Oshin's Birthday Party
- i spent the whole morning at Tampines Library yesterday
- looking forward to spent the whole day with an tmrw.
- i miss aishah and diyana badly




my life is falling apart

falling apart

my previous entry should be my last entry
but i have no choice
i need to penned down everything
i have no one to talk to
and i rather be alone

i've gained 5kg
dah nearly 2 mths tak go gym
im getting fatter and uglier,seriously

i'm starting to miss him again
badly

im starting to hate my life
i really do,seriously

for people who is reading dis
i need no sympathy, comment, or any advice from u
there is so much anger inside of me
so much pain
hatred


i wish i can just kill someone
or
maybe i can run away to another country, start a new life alone
or
maybe i just go to bahrain
or
maybe i just accept the fate that written for me


everybody deserve to be happy
but not me
im confused


my life is falling apart

They asked for it ...

havent update my blog for nearly 2 weeks, here some update bout me : -

- been doing alot of thinking

- realised who is a true fren and whos not

- i think i should be more secretive bout my life

- start think bout myself ( kalau dulu selalu pikir bout other ppl feelings, but now, wat the heck..... )

- i think (80%) i should move to Abu Dhabi with my parents, start a new life there, 0 frens

- get my life busy

- NO one can tell me that i should change, im happy with the way i am

-being doing solat istikharah tu mintak pentunjuk sama ada i should acce[t the job @ Bahrain

- been really upset,cos some people tot that im going after her hubby

- and yg paling sedih is when a fren yg i kenal from primary sch accused me of ruining her relationship with her bf ( now her ex )

-so the conclusion of all dis is, not to trust sesapa, trust your self, jgn dengar cakap org, jgn pikir pasal org, pikir diri sendiri, i think its better for me to be my old self, secretive, sensitive and super duper selfish

- dis may be may be my last entry

wallahu a'lam,

<<<< me >>>>

its all about

me

Birthday and Anniversary

- Aminul 12th birthday
- Cik Nyen ?? birthday
- Cik Yanti 12th wedding Anniversary
- the food was goooooood
- i love my family

Wedding Cake Baking Class

- my first wedding cake lesson

- nuthing much to say

- a class room full of makciks and

a guy

-im the youngest

- very tricky and sticky to pipe the icing

- and the teacher very fussy,

- and on the first lesson je , my teacher dah suka i, hahahaha

Back to School

My dearest siblings

i loveeee dis pics

Thanks to e pro photographer :D

Eid Mubarak, kullu am wa ent bi khier

Eid Mubarak and happy new year to all my dear sisters,

been very busy for the past few days, teaching, teaching and merayaping...hehe

hmm......let me update apa yg i dah buat for the past few days

- accompany fiza for a few days, merayaping

- tuition , tuition , tuition

- watched 'the holiday' with fiza , a very romantic movie.

-watched "a night at museum" with, fairus, syukur and fairuz...a very funny movie, must bring my siblings to watch it, uddyn mesti suka :)

- belajar masak lepat banjar and ikat the lepat from mummy and aunty jah

- sign up for wedding cake baking class... :D

- went to the mosque with mummy and family for takbir

- abg hafiz''s ( my cousin's hubby ) parents invite us to makan at their place for hari raya haji, before we proceed to nenek's place.

- a primary sch reunion @ orchard......

i blame you for nuthing and forgive you for everything

Dear i noe i have no more right to call u that, tapi aku punya pasal la,

i noe change my password for my email account, but i wont blame u for that, i think ade hikmah disebalik ni semua, ade hikmah for breakng up with u, i felt more close and attached to my family and friends, i still do miss u everyday, but deep inside me i noe, that i deserve someone better than u, sebab i noe u tak guna, dalam quran pon ade tulis, lelaki baik untuk pompan baik, lelaki jahat untuk pompan jahat, so i ni baik, u tu jahat, so tak kena la kan, maybe u tu lelaki jahat.

So i tak kisah la u nak buat apa kan, i noe im going toget someoe better insyaALLAH, AMEEN,i dont mind if u nak still baca my email, bacalaaaaa, sebab i pon selalu check ur mail kan, so fair la kira tu, cuma satu jer, stay out of my life, is up to me i nak date sapa pon, jgn try nak kepo2 k, at least im dating someone better looking, and tak la gemok la, tapi u ngan pompan gemok kan, gemok tu sexy per...baikk uh, ..

ok dear, now im going to repeat the words i selalu cakap kat u la kan...
dear,
i love you
i need you
i miss you
go to hell

p/s: sisters, sorry if word kasar2, terpaksa uh






Yang Ikhlas,

Ustazah Mai

To my dearest sisters....

Menatap indahnya senyuman diwajahmu

Membuat ku terdiam dan terpaku

Mengerti akan hadirnya cinta terindah

Saat kau peluk mesra tubuhku
Banyak kata

Yang tak mampu kuungkapkan

Kepada dirimu
Aku ingin engkau slalu

Hadir dan temani aku

Disetiap langkah

Yang meyakiniku

Kau tercipta untukku

Sepanjang hidupku
Aku ingin engkau slalu

Hadir dan temani aku

Disetiap langkahYang meyakiniku

Kau tercipta untukku

Meski waktu akan mampu

Memanggil seluruh ragaku

Ku ingin kau tau

Kuslalu milikmu

Yang mencintaimu

Sepanjang hidupku
Aku ingin engkau slalu

Hadir dan temani aku

Disetiap langkahYang meyakiniku

Kau tercipta untukku

Meski waktu akan mampu

Memanggil seluruh ragaku

Ku ingin kau tau

Kuslalu milikmu

Yang mencintaimu

p/s : i love dis song very much , so i dedicate to my sisters,who always been there for me... :D

need a new life

mimpi him
maybe i missed him badly

print out the catalog from net
tunggu huda mcm buah tak jatuh

went to cik noraini's place for tuition
chat with her about my fellow friends yang takde kerje bila grad nanti
she advised me to join british council


planned with aishah bout our tmrw meeting
gym, gym, gym, gym,
movie,movie
im tired