A New Life Ahead

...

2009-07-20T22:43:00.001+08:00

Friends don't owe. They just do. I believe in that. I've held that belief close to my heart always.

The things that we do for our friends are done because we want to. Because we are able to. Providing that shoulder when the rains set in. Morphing into a personal rah-rah team when mountains are conquered. We do it all because that's what friends do. And we do it all with no strings attached. We don't expect nor demand reciprocation.

It's not a tit-for-tat deal.

But sometimes, don't you feel a little sad that your friends don't quite treat you the same? We all walk the extra mile for a buddy but are we wrong to feel sad when our friends won't even lace-up their walking shoes for us?

I've been feeling like that of late. Disillusioned with the people around me. I tried to shake it off. Doesn't seem to work.

I know now that I could never depend on the friends around me.

Understand that I don't blame them. Understand too that it hurts like hell when I realise that the people whom I would go out on a limb for, would not even bother to throw me a rope when it breaks.

I'm tired. Tired of trying.

It was a mistake letting people in. Mistake to tear down the wall that I had carefully constructed. Mistake to let that first person in. Mistake to believe in the goodness of people.

It's a mistake that I will never commit again.

:: jodoh ::

2009-07-16T23:27:00.002+08:00

Jodoh ada tiga jenis jodoh.

Jodoh dari Syaitan… berkenalan, berpegangan tangan, buat maksiat, mengandung lalu bernikah.

Jodoh dari Jin… berkenalan, bertepuk sebelah tangan, lalu dibomoh dan disihirkan sebelah pihak sampai tunduk mengikut kemahuan lalu bernikah.

Jodoh dari Allah… cinta berputik, masuk meminang dan langsung bernikah,

:: against my willingnes ::

2009-07-08T02:53:00.002+08:00

its true sometimes u need u to give in ..
but i guessed i gave to much in this friendship

:: a day to remember ::

2009-06-30T21:38:00.000+08:00

To Angle's Photography
Thanks for the opportunity !

:: Sunday , 28 June 2009 ::

2009-06-30T21:32:00.002+08:00

:: trust ::

2009-06-07T00:21:00.002+08:00

"i don't trust u"

one single message from u changed everything

U trusted me when ur overseas

but

u dont trust me when u're back in Singapore

wth !

::updates ::

2009-06-03T18:15:00.001+08:00

jalan cerita tak akan berubah ...........

July 2009

June 2010

eveything will go smoothly as planned , InsyaALLAH

:: Faizal's 23rd Birthday ::

2009-05-30T00:48:00.002+08:00

Happy 23rd Birthday to Faizal !

:: Why ? ::

2009-05-27T19:47:00.004+08:00

Friends are asking me why am i keep ignoring things happening around me ?
My answer :
will it change anything if i gave attention to it ?

Friends asking me about the bad rumors spreading about me ? Why i just keep quiet ?
My answer :
what can i do ? can it change someone perspective towards me ?

Friends asking me why i am always busy ?
My answer :
its better to get myself busy with productive things rather than doing nothing .

Friends asking me why am i getting too calculative with others ?
My answer :
If ur calculative me, then i will do the same thing .

:: extended mc ::

2009-05-27T00:02:00.002+08:00

Being a hard headed person and can't stay at home type of person , after a few unsuccessful attempt to go out alone , i finally gather all the energy to make my way to Pasir Ris for a tuition session . By the time i reached Cik Ina's place , i felt really tired , and my nose start to bleed , seriosuly i didnt know the effect will be that bad ! . The kids told me that i looked very sick , and i have to call my cousin to fetch me because i just dont have the energy to travel home alone .

My second attempt to go out on my own was a successful , BUT tsaqib and saidah insisted to fetch me from home and make our way together to Arab street to celebrate yani's birthday . it was a fun night , usually gossips and juicy details , kids playing around , and the belly dancing show really makes my night , thanks to yana for celebrating yani, syahid and my birthday,walaupun dah due more than a month, im happy to celebrate my birthday with 2 of my favourite people !

On Sunday , i have a 3 hours long event , i tried not to show my sickness, but the clients notice it , they can see how bloated my face is , i didnt realised it until when i see it for myself , by then i know something was not right .... but i still proceed to Arab street to celebrate faizal's birthday and dinner with besties, it has been ages when i last saw them .

Went to Raffles hsopital , Dr Aw was shocked to see my face, and the high tempreture , he suspected that im allergic to one of the medication , after being tested and scope , yes the put a thin tube on my nose and push it in , my wound inside my nose, its not healing, it still bleeding, but its still in recovery process , total recovery will took around 3-4 weeks .

Here i am , blogging with a cool pack on my forehead, pale face and i looked like a confinement lady .... 2 more weeks before i can fully recover , insyaALLAH..

:: Eleven hints for life ::

2009-05-22T19:39:00.000+08:00

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose
it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been
missing until it arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.

6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
seem bright.

7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.

8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.

9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.

10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.

11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

:: a lil update ::

2009-05-18T20:17:00.002+08:00

-on thursday i went thru endoscopic sinus surgery and restructured my crooked nose , everything went smoothly.
- gladly to wake up surrounded by all the important people, my parents, my favourite aunt , and all my besties .
- Down with high fever the next day, highest tempreture check is 39.4 , nose bleeding non stop and in very bad pain .
- spend the whole weekend sleeping .
- now getting better and recovering, alhamdulillah .

:: trust no one ::

2009-05-13T19:46:00.003+08:00

even someone who is close to us cannot be trusted
u make me look bad on others
u make me look desperate
how dare u do that ?
now , irrational and ridiculous rumors about me being spread .
how am i going to face them ?
thanks alot !

:: uddyn's 9th Birthday ::

2009-05-05T01:11:00.004+08:00

if u think im tall , look at my brothers

Blackberry Cheesecake

Enjoying the dessert
Our lepak session, as usual
A Suprised birthday cake for uddyn ,
it was a hush2 thing,
he didnt know the gathering is for him .

Happy Boy
Surrounded by all the brothers who loves him

:: ipooooooooood ::

2009-04-30T01:49:00.002+08:00

i lost my ipod in bangkok
last seen, in hotel room

and its a birthday present from my aunt, exactly one year after she bought it for me
aarrgghh

:: On doing my part and moved on with life ::

2009-04-30T01:28:00.003+08:00

What i have done for the past few days ( since i got back from Bangkok to be exact )

- I was so busy with Al Ansar maulid preparation, one of my student are selected to make a presentation for the maulid and i was appointed to guide her . Mariam did a good job , and im proud of her .

- Had a very fruitful meeting with mega express communication .

- An eye opening meeting with tarmizi , once he was a low profile, average and invisible student at aljunied , now he's totally changed, more outspoken , confident . hope to work with u more on our upcoming projects .

- Had a very long chit chat cum supper session with kak yati, kak ita, abg sani husain and his wife at simpang bedok . its been a long time since i met them, tak lama sgt la, the last time is when i watched taukey wayang a musical.

- i missed my bestfriend's fiance birthday celebration due to work commitment , Happy Birthday Dedek !

- My schedule for may until july is fully packed, i have more than 4 events to oraganise , alot of planning , organising, and hiring to be done , currently looking for models can commit with me for 4 days in may and a certified cosmoprof makeup artist .

- Not been attending gym session for a week now , by the time i finished all my work, im too tired to run at the treadmill .

-wrote a confession note.some people might think that what i did is a bit desperate , but i see it as a way for me to release my stress and my wild thoughts that been hunting me since last year , i don't have the courage to penned everything that i felt at first, but after gathering so much guts , i did it ! , i penned every single thoughts and feeling that i had since last year. and i felt a HUGE relieve , yes a huge relieved ! , now i am more productive at work , giving more focus at upcoming projects . i told myself that i dont mind what is the outcome , but still deep inside i was hoping that i wont be experiencing any ""excruciating pain"" outcome . i know that i wont be able to survive another "pain" .

- Had a nice dinner at my favourite place Badoque with someone who-is-potentially-to-be-mr-right-according-to-my-mum , but not to me . ok, im not being choosy, i have my reasons .

-

:: Bangkok Day 4 ::

2009-04-21T13:17:00.006+08:00

:: Bangkok Day 2 ::

2009-04-21T12:32:00.006+08:00

:: Bangkok Day 1 ::

2009-04-21T11:56:00.007+08:00

::randomthoughts::

2009-04-20T20:19:00.002+08:00

i'm sick and tired of people telling me how choosy i am
now im blogging about this topic because i want people to know how i felt
is it wrong for me to have my own criteria ?
all i wanted in a guy is
someone who can understands me ,
loves me as who i am ,
able to accept my family ,
a guy who can lift up my spirit when I'm down ,
someone who loves to travel
someone who have the same mindset with me ,
someone who is busy enough to understand my busyness
but for now

i'm looking for someone who have the same vision with me,

that's the most importantly

:: thanks for the memories ::

2009-04-19T17:14:00.002+08:00

To :

Syahid . Indayani , Maryantie, Aryanto & Hambali

Thanks for the happening trip and memorable trip

we should do it again !!

minus the drama mama

:: rioting .....in mind and thoughts ::

2009-04-15T01:19:00.002+08:00

From this experience

I can see their true colours

:: hello people ::

2009-04-09T11:04:00.001+08:00

i'm turning 25 less in 24 hours
so stop fooling me around
i'm not stupid k
i'm not going to sit around and wait for you

:: im touched ::

2009-04-09T01:30:00.002+08:00

"please spare some time for me even when u're married k"

awww.... so sweet .....

Don't worry dear , i will always have time and will be there for u always , InsyaALLAH

:: sorry ::

2009-04-09T01:28:00.003+08:00

For friends who patiently waiting for the pictures to be uploaded
i'm so sorry
jangan kata belom edit, upload to computer pon belom, still in SD card
i'm so sorry
been very busy
Hope U understand

Love U !

:: angry entry ::

2009-04-03T01:08:00.003+08:00

This is going to be a very long angry entry , I'm not having my pms or anything related to it , but i guess i just cannot take it anymore , i need to voice it out .

I purposely canceled my tuition so i can spent time with u , u have been complaining that I've been very busy , so for the sake of friendship, i canceled my tuition because of u , and u simply canceled our meeting because u want to spent time with u bf ? hello ! , you've been seeing him like 5-6 times a week , still can't get enough of him ?

bullshit ! ,

i know he's your everything , but come on , he still have his lepak session with his guy friends, he still play soccer with his friends , did he canceled his meeting with his friends because of u ? HELL NO ! , boleh gado if u asked him to canceled his meeting with his friends. .
We ladies make guys our priority , been there, done that ! , but do u really thinks that he thinks the same way like we did ? Another HELL NO !

Im not angry because my friend cancelled her meeting with me .

I dont understand why some people acted like this

"sorry la, been busy lately " yes, i know ,ive been saying the same things to some friends, but the reality is , I AM BUSY , i work, i teach , i counsel, i do freelancing , i just started my own business , i'm a PA to brain gym trainer . My free night are only on saturday , by the time its saturday night, pancit already to lepak around with friends .

But some people punya busy is , lepak with boyfriend, spent time with boyfriend , watch movie with boyfriend , boyfriend takde kene reservist, go holiday with friends ,kau jugak yg mati akal, tak tahu nak buat apa, then u started to search for anyone who is available to "teman " u . Do you think is fair for ur friend ?

Again , seperti kacang lupakan kulit ....

I do have special some too, but i dont let the "cinta buta" syndrome to ruin my daily life , my relationship with all my friends , have ur priorities la babe !

I'm not pointing at anyone , but tolong la pikir pakai akal yang waras . Don't let the stupid syndrome ruin our life and our friendship .

:: Ibu Kata ::

2009-04-01T12:52:00.002+08:00

This Morning

Me : Ibu, i dont like this milk

Ibu : Why ?

Me : Sebab this milk rasa mcm susu .

Ibu : Ok , u need to see the doctor soon , u behave differently these days

Me : huh ?

People around me says that i've been acting strange lately , i admit, sejak sekarang2 ni, i selalu terlupa to do things i should do.

:: what goes around comes around ::

2009-03-31T18:52:00.003+08:00

He likes me
i ignored him
now
i liked him
but he ignored me

:: Numerolgy Reading ::

2009-03-31T02:12:00.003+08:00

Your creativity and originality appeal to men who are looking for someone a little unusual to become romantically involved with. Your wit and charm, as well as the wealth of information you have to share on a variety of topics, are also big points in your favor when it comes to men.

You sometimes might have the tendency to give too deeply and too intensely, however. People could take advantage of you and leave you high and dry. This could lead to feelings of loneliness and jealousy if you're thwarted or hurt in any way.

The good news is, you aren't down for long! You bounce back from romantic setbacks and are willing to try again.

Someone did my calculation during my lunch meeting , and i googled it, and it seems accurate .

Don't get me wrong, im just doing it for fun !

:: personal thoughts ::

2009-03-30T16:49:00.001+08:00

a very painful reality will set in soon
my feelings are numbed already
maybe i should go on with what is planned for me

:: Exclusive Scarves ::

2009-03-30T00:07:00.001+08:00

:: Scarves For Sale ::

2009-03-29T23:22:00.003+08:00

For more information , visit us at www.eyeforimage.multiply.com , www.eyeforimage.blogspot.com or email us at , www.eyeforimage.live.com

:: why ? why ? why ? ::

2009-03-27T23:11:00.002+08:00

He cheated on you,
U stayed faithful to him

He scolded U infront of ur friends
U just keep quiet

He asked u to abort the baby
U followed his instruction

He strangled U while u are sleeping
U forgive Him

Is this what u called love ?
Bullshit !

Jadi pompan jangan jadi bodoh !

:: a fruitful meetings ::

2009-03-27T11:13:00.002+08:00

Yesterday meeting with the bridal shop owner is a very fruitful one, i learned a lot about business . and really looking forward for our bridal showcase

:: I guess I loved U ::

2009-03-27T00:26:00.004+08:00

This is the reason i'm so hooked up this song, besides the meaningful lyrics , i've heard her sang this song live @ my aunt's kitchen ! and im totally in love with it

:: how many of ur friends who stay with u through up and downs of life ? ::

2009-03-25T22:11:00.003+08:00

I can actually count how many of my friends who stays with me through all the hardship i went through , and the numbers are less than 5 , seriously , I'm known to have a lot of friends , but the one i can really trust , who i can really rely on when I'm penniless , or someone who constantly checked on me when i heartbroken , are only few .

Today , i realized there are friends who only want to have "fun" with you , they will give full commitment to something that will give them joy and excitement , but when it comes to hardship , helping each other , to be a listening ears to troubled friends , they will avoid , they will disappear when u are at the lowest point of your life .

And there are friends who will stick to u no matter what happens , either you are rich or poor, stupid, clumsy , these are the friends that i've been with through out these years .

Not forgetting friends who only make use of you , financially and physically . these people memang tak patut di hargai and harus di tinggalkan segera , or it will be a virus to ur life .

As i promised someone, my 25th birthday will be a turning point in my life , i should eliminate them who makes use of me , stay with the ones who has proven their sincerity in friendship , to pursue my dream and move on with life .

:: I guess I loved U ::

2009-03-25T12:16:00.000+08:00

::personalthots::

2009-03-18T23:10:00.001+08:00

all i can say now is

"wak lu"

p.s : this has nothing to do with family, work or hobby, its purely about friendship.....

:: when she came to town day 2 ::

2009-03-17T23:23:00.002+08:00

Not much was done today , except for mengemok kan diri with buffalo wings and shepherd pie, and mug-mugs of coffee . A mini acapella song from keris patih by kak ah for all the other cousins , autograph signing session, but its not fair, she wont sign mine, she said i was merepek , chet !

Told her about "taukey wayang" theater , but she will see her schedule if she can make it . I didn't know that am was a big fan of kak ah , i tot am was more to cik siti's fan .

Went to esplanade to see sexy Mr Brian Mcknight

Tot of makan tulang at beach road, but she afraid that it will stain her braices , takut gigi merah kak ? hahah , she going to appear at Zoom in this sunday at TV2

Had supper at Zam Zam

Most probly will spent time with her again tomorrow before she head back to KL .

:: when she came to town ::

2009-03-17T09:43:00.004+08:00

Yesterday , a very close family friend came to town , its been a year i last met her during "Music -Music " finals competition singing her hit song "sembunyi" . This is not her first visit to singapore, her last show her is 2-3 years back when she perform duet with M. Nasir @ esplanade. Ok she the one and only misha omar .

So yesterday, she came to singapore as " kak ah " not misha , my aunt fetched from the airport and they proceed to taka for breakfast and i met them for coffee , we had a very long chat at starbucks wisma , talking about life experience , up and downs of life , about she telling me to persue my dreams and go all out for what i believe in, and of course,ade nangis2 session which is also known as "neng yatimah session" . We proceed to Lucky plaza to find her a hair wig , she needed it for her upcoming shows ,i encountered my first experience to see when an artist got ambushed by fans , but to me is more like "tailong mintak hutang " , we were walking and talking and suddenly a young lady just grab kak ah's hand and pull her aside, i was shocked at first , but u have to see kak ah's face, lagi shocking !, hahaha, and reality hits me, that im actually walking with a public figure .

Another funny incident happened when we took the "singapore duck tour" , we bought the tix as Malaysian, but when we rode the "duck" we told the tour guide that were are from philippines , its kak Ah's idea, because the tour guide is a malay, but again, siapa tak kenal misha omar kan , so the tour guide came to us and asked, kak ah denied it at first, but bila finish the tour, she meet that tour giude and confessed ,of course, the tour guide pon excited ar .

We had our dinner at marina , and observe the sunset from the open space at the food court, its soo beautiful, then came dian to join us for dinner. At first we planned to bring her to arab street , to experience the atmosphere there but again ..... kene ambushed lagik

around 9 we went to starbucks near orchard hotel for coffee.this time, cik nyen and cik ashar also joined us .

we went to hard rock cafe around 11pm to watch kumar's show , pecah perut k , should watch it again, we did enjoy our nite.

Today going to be another day, we going to "masak-masak", one of our family traditions, might be cooking buffalo wings and shepherd's pie , and going to watch, Brian Mcknight concert tonite with the aunties and kak ah .

p/s : didn't take many pictures because i felt unappropriate to take her pictures for personal gain .

:: me ? ::

2009-03-16T00:46:00.005+08:00

I miss somebody right now.
I don’t watch TV these days.
I own lots of handbags ansd shoes.
I wear glasses or contact lenses.
I love to watch movie.
I an thai +eurasion+malay+chinese = rojak blood.
I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
I curse all the time
I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
I carry my tissue everywhere with me.
I’m totally smart. ( self confession )
I’ve broken someone’s bones.
I’m paranoid sometimes.
I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
I need money right now.
I hate sushi. especially sushi in Hong Kong
I always think negative.
I have long hair.
I have a crush in New Zealand.
I have 6 sibling.
I have worn eyelashes in the past.
I couldn’t live without internet
I dont like the way I look.
I don't like to share my birthday with others, if u have the same birthday as me , GO & GET UR OWN SETS OF FRIENDS and celebrate.
I have a lot of mood swings. very bad moodswings
I have a hidden talent.
I’m always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
I have a lot of friends.
I am currently single
I enjoy talking on the phone.
I practically live in facebook
I love to shop.
I enjoy window shopping.
I would rather shop then eat.
I don’t hate anyone. I dislike them.because they made my life miserable
I’m completely embarrassed to be seen
I have a cell phone.
I believe in God.
I watch desprate houswevies on daily basis
I clean from " night entertainment" for nearly 1 year now.
I’ve rejected someone before.
I have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
I want to have children in the future
I have changed a diaper before.
I’ve called the cops on a friend before.
I’m allergic to prawn.
I have a lot to learn.
I have been with someone at least 5 years older or younger.
I am shy around the opposite sex.
I have tried alcohol before.
I have made a move on a friend’s significant other or crush in the past.
I would die for my best friends.
I think that i have no appearance
I have used my sexuality to advance my career. ( just laugh out loud )
I love to read budiey.com.
Raya is awesome but hate to answer questions.
I watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
I have dated a close friends’s ex.
I am happy at this moment!!
I’m obsessed with guys (on TV).
I study for tests most of the time.
I love to wear high heels
I ever sacrifice high heels for a jackass, stupid kan.
I love my job.
I am comfortable with who I am right now.
I have more than just my ears pierced.
I walk barefoot in the office.
I have jumped off a bridge.
I hate the sea.
I spend ridiculous money on makeup.
I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
I took better pictures when im depressed
I worked at restaurant before.
I love office jobs.
I hate sci-fi movies.
I think water rules.
I went college out of state.
I like sausage.
I love kisses from my dad .
I fall for the worst people.
I hate bright colours.
I have a multiple personality disorder
I don’t know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
I usually like covers better than originals.
I can pick up things with my toes.
I can’t whistle.
I can go and watch movie alone.
I have ridden a horse.
I still have every journal I’ve ever written in.
I can’t stick to a diet.
I always have dejavu dreams
I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions
walking alone with a tripod and camera is a brilliant past-time.
I have eurasion blood.
I can’t stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
I am a caffeine junkie.
I can travel alone
I only clean my room when necessary.
I deeply in huge crush with my ex
I love being happy..
I am an adrenaline junkie

::randomthoughts::

2009-03-15T23:29:00.002+08:00

i thought its going to be different this year
but i guess nothing special will happen
just like the same old days

:: randomthoughts::

2009-03-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

I can't help myself feeling disappointed
its no one fault
i just have to wait for nature to takes its course
Bad experience has taught us to be more careful
or maybe its just not meant to be ?
or am i expecting too much ?

:: on losing all the important stuff ::

2009-03-15T12:09:00.002+08:00

From my observation , it seems that i've lost / misplaced a lot of thing lately , last week i misplaced my atm , ezlink and my makeup bag , and i'm still looking for my HDD which is very important , thousands of pictures are stored there .

And guess what , today , i just realised that my passport and airline itenary are missing too !! %&$**# ! , and the trip its going to be next month !!!! , i've deleted the itenary that the airline emailed me !, ( ok , i know, i shoudnt delete it ) , i realy really hope Am still have it , i did email him the tix ? did i ? seriously , if i dont , abis ar ...

Nasib baik tix for the play at voctoria theater is still with Am , kalau tak , itu pon hilang

What is happening to me ? am i too tied up with stuff until i misplaced all important things ??

Am i going to lose my mind next ?

:: randomthoughts ::

2009-03-14T22:18:00.003+08:00

being the eldest doesnt mean i have to sacrifice every single thing
Just because he's closer to me , i should be bring him to meet clients or hang out with my friends ?
for goodness sake, he have other 4 older siblings
stop putting all responsibilities at me
i had enough!

:: So What ! ::

2009-03-12T17:44:00.001+08:00

::randonpictures::

2009-03-12T17:05:00.000+08:00

:: arrgghhh ::

2009-03-11T08:01:00.002+08:00

i lost my 300gig Hard Disk !!
and there are thousands of pictures stored there !

::havingsomeone whohavethesamemindsetasme::

2009-03-11T07:56:00.003+08:00

:: Miss Mai :: says:
seriously, i cant understand guys

..... says:
hahahaaa!

..... says:
u actually dun understand tat particular person...

:: Miss Mai :: says:
i dont know for u lar kan , but all the guys around me , so complicated

..... says:
ahahaha gals pon....

..... says:
super complicated

:: Miss Mai :: says:
u dont understand that particular person

:: Miss Mai :: says:
hahahahahah !

..... says:
hahahahahaha see, senang je jawapan nye

......says:
cuma skeptical nye lelaki akan salahkan pompan....so the other party

:: Miss Mai :: says:
define how complicated girls are ?

..... says:
alah pokok nye susah lah paham............

What we have gone through made us what we are now

::keepingthefaith::

2009-03-11T07:50:00.001+08:00

I believe I’ll make it this time.

did i ever mention this 8 months ago ?

::randomthoughts::

2009-03-11T07:47:00.002+08:00

i have so many pictures to edit
and many edited pictures to be posted here
but i don't have the urge to post it !

pictures to posted :

-syira's 23th birthday celebration
-Wedding card outdoor photoshoot

::randomthoughts::

2009-03-10T13:23:00.000+08:00

how about ten ten ten ?

not too far , not too near

nice combination

::randomthoughts::

2009-03-09T11:41:00.002+08:00

it's not the profession that im worried about

i'm worried about what people might say

:: for U ::

2009-03-06T14:52:00.001+08:00

::randomthoughts::

2009-03-06T12:15:00.001+08:00

sometimes kan , it doesnt really matters what happened , what matter the most is how u appreciate someone and ingat of them.

bukan mcm kacang lupa kan kulit , kan ? kan ? kan ?

:: Happy Birthday Shirot ::

2009-03-05T18:15:00.002+08:00

Happy 23rd Birthday dearest !
Thanks for being the most understanding, concern, loving, caring and the most importantly, keypoh friend to me .

Love ,
Miss Mai

:: the day when we got shira cried for no reason ::

2009-03-05T17:58:00.004+08:00

i had a very long day yesterday , had lunch and chill out with huda , it has been a very long time since we spent time together , the last time is when we went to Jakarta , nearly a year ago . it feels good, i miss those time when only u and me that matters.

After 4 hours chilling out at coffee club, we proceed to civic center for our weekly meet-ups with the others , a lot of things need to be updated , we are looking forward to many events these years, wedding, engagements, flea markets, holidays, and more other important stuff . Huda & i are going to have a very packed weekends, we got several things to settle before Huda's big day , we need to be prepared tfor the big day ! i guess shira is just frusturated wanted to know our plans for the weekends , she has always being "everything-she-must-know-must-particiapte" type of person got so frusturated ( i guess ) until she actually cried for no reason !, ahahaha ! , She must be frusturated because for THE FIRST TIME we managed to keep a secret from her , i know u will be read my blog, takpe la babe, u going to have ur hawai theme chalet , enjoy ur birthday babe ! , and sorry for not celebrating your birthday on tomorrow , we will celebrate ur birthday next year K !

:: bodoh punya pompan ::

2009-03-05T12:05:00.002+08:00

i just don't understand why some ladies, just besarkan their boyfriend
for goodness sake, he is not your husband or your fiance
think about yourself first , idiot !

:: randompictures ::

2009-03-03T21:51:00.001+08:00

:: Happy Birthday Ibu ::

2009-03-03T00:32:00.003+08:00

thanks for being the best mother ever

:: the shrek ::

2009-03-02T13:15:00.001+08:00

isn't he lovely

2009-03-01T11:14:00.003+08:00

If i knew im going to end my day with a broken heart

i shouldn't have come

another reason for me to leave

:: on sacrficing your own happiness for the sake of other ::

2009-02-26T16:07:00.003+08:00

telling ur dirty laudry to ur friends is not the best thing to do when they themselves has their own problem to solve , but their supportive reactions and suggestions really open my eyes about how much they care and concern about the situation . my solution ? , packed my bags and leave everything behind , ive done the first step by leaving something big and important to me , i've planned every single detail about how the plan should go and ending it with my vacation with the singles club . i know its not a wise thing to do , but i think i have to , is either to find my own happiness or sacrifise my happiness to make other happy

:: i really looking forward to ..... ::

2009-02-24T17:54:00.003+08:00

Im really looking forward to these events :

1 ) Ubin photoshoot

2) Ibu's Birthday

3) Shira's Birthday

4) Theater "tauke wayang " , Mr Am first debut on acting theater .

5 ) Fiza Teddie's Birthday

6) Am's bestfriend pre-wedding photoshoot

7 ) Of course, My birthday

8 ) Bangkok trip with am, syahid, yanto, shira, faizal and yani .

and of course, between these events , im looking forward to my besties and single's club lepak sessions, watching movies and my photography understudy program . *wink*wink*

:: too much waves ::

2009-02-22T23:38:00.002+08:00

Latest updates

My friends and i are all down with flu and fever , hahaha, too much of Henderson Waves i guess

:: the day when i decided to dressed differently::

2009-02-22T19:12:00.006+08:00

After the Flea Market and Henderson Waves drama , i reached home around 3am , i quickly start doing my slides presentation for my joint learning program at the mosque .

I finished up at ard 630am in the morning, did my morning prayers and rush to the mosque

Ustazah : eh, u looked so different ?
Me : yea, and i feel different too, i havent sleep since yesterday .
Ustazah :no , not that , u wearing Jubah !
Me : apa jer ustazah

When i walk towards the assembly hall, all of them are looking at me curiously

Me : Assalamualaikum
Them : Walaikumsalam Ustazah

Boy : Wahh, ustazah u looked so alim today
Girl : U are wearing jubah and socks, im impressed !

I was looking at them blushing ( dalam hati, alamak penting ke nak kene cakap depan orang ! )

Girl whispering to me : Why r u dressed like dis, u looked so different
Me : because i have presentation and we going to have a lot of people coming .

So after a 3 hours interactive session with the other 80 students from other mosques

Boys : Ustazah , can u please promise me not to be angry when i tell u something
Me : Ok , but make it a good one .
Boys : Can u please dont dressed up like dis next week , u looked very fierce , dah tak gerek
Girls : i prefer u wearing jeans and loong sleeves shirts .
Me : yea ,i love wearing jeans too and i promise myself not to dresses up like dis again .

:: Finally, Henderson Waves ::

2009-02-22T18:38:00.008+08:00

I always wanted to go to Henderson Waves to experience the view and of course for hobby purpose , but apa nak buat, no one wants to teman me .

So yesterday after dinner, we were discussing about when should we lepak as the malam masih muda ,Izhar suggested we went to Henderson Waves , i was thrilled and super excited of course , but tak buat kecoh ar, excited dalam hati jer .
Mind you, we were there at around 10 plus , and have to walk through the forest walk , semua muka action berani .

After a few group shots , we chatted , a few interesting topics were brought up by some of us, regarding mati , hari kiamat, prophet and of course, pasal kawin , haha, mentang2 ada bride and groom to be . cakap punya cakap, it almost 2am and there are still alot of people wandering around the bridge.
I shall say , yesterday outing was the best and the most memorable one , dont ask me why , but i guess the others felt the same way too ...

:: 2nd hand market @ Tanglin Mall ::

2009-02-22T18:16:00.005+08:00

Yesterday , my friends and i tried our luck in selling our personal belongings at Tanglin Mall Flea Market , eventhough it was raining heavily, there still a huge crowd , Filipinos rate ,Foreigners , students and even makciks are there . better to sell off u thing dari terperuk jer dalam almari , kan ! kan ! kan !

:: on being ignorant ::

2009-02-17T15:02:00.002+08:00

When someone starts to be ignorant to u , it is because

a) is very busy with lots of other important things
b) seriously dislikes you
c) doesn’t want to be associated with you
d) has been thinking that "everything is about u "
e) is pms-ing really badly
f) is too caught up with personal issues .
g) doesn’t want to be disturbed
h) recently got attached and is busy with the new partner?
i) having big trouble
j) found a new friend
k) is bored of you and the others

""Whenever I’m alone and think of all the good times I used to share with close friends I regarded like my own siblings, I sometimes have these niggly thoughts in my head. In the past, we were close, seeing each other on a regular basis, have regular feasting sessions together, celebrating each other’s birthdays, go on trips etc. That was when all of us were still swinging singles.

Sometimes I ask myself, have I done anything wrong to irk them??? Have I said things that may have hurt them??? Have I not been there when they needed my presence??? It feels sad sometimes when you get cold replies or one liners when you sms or email to say “Hi” and “How have you been doing???”. It’s like you have been totally scrapped from their lives and not knowing what you have done to be deserved of such treatment. I’m sure most of you out there have been caught in this kind of situation before and perhaps feeling the same thing as you read this entry of mine.""

i totally can relate on this, taken from someone else blog

:: nurul tsurayaa birthday party ::

2009-02-16T12:30:00.001+08:00

but again, its just the picture of us

:: he just could'nt let go ::

2009-02-16T12:12:00.004+08:00

he just coulnt let go, he loves it too much,
ukasyah , don't worry , nanti ummi pasang pole kat rumah k ! *wink wink*

:: on trusting your gut feeling ::

2009-02-15T23:56:00.002+08:00

some people really trust their gut feeling
for the first time today , i felt uneasy
my gut feeling told me that they are keeping something
but again , its just a gut feeling
should i trust my gut feeling ?

"apa pun yang terjadi , berjalan la tanpa henti"

:: appreciation ::

2009-02-15T03:14:00.003+08:00

i love my parents
i love my siblings
i love my best friends
i love my "lepak" friends
i love my sisters
i love my aunties
i love my cousins
and i love my life

ok , i know this is weird , but i think i never really expressed how i feel to anyone , but right now , i'm so feel "loved" by everyone , nothing special happened , met no one but i can feel the love

or

maybe this is the "pms" talking

:: oh Zara ::

2009-02-13T23:39:00.003+08:00

2008 is the year i paling banyak visit babies .and setiap kali i visit babies , i impressed with their names , long and unique ..... here are some of the names :

Shaik Ukasyah Rayyan

Eriqa Rindiani

Aniq ****************** Riyan ( i can't remember the unique name in the middle )

Joshua Anaqillah ( something like that ) but when the mother first time mention the baby's name , i was like "uh? apa ? anak dila ? " and her husband laugh out loud .

Keisha Nazihah

i even wonder how they came out with that names

for me , i want my daughter to have name starting with "zara" because i love Zara , i love mango too but takkan nak letak nama anak Mango eh , kesian anak aku nanti .

:: mana nak dapat eh ::

2009-02-13T22:57:00.002+08:00

Today , after a few days of "strike " from doing housework , i decided to cook my parent's favourite dish , ikan belado , im not a big fan of fish , so u can imagine how freaked i was when my mum asked me to cut and wash the fish . i actually pujuk my mum , telling her that she can ask me to do everything but not cutting the fish ...but she insisted . so tak nak jadi anak durhaka, i did ,but during the attempt of cutting the fish, i accidently cut my finger .

ibu : mana ade orang potong ikan tutup mata .

me : kan i told u , i tak pandai and tak nak potong ikan

ibu : eh , nanti ur husband nak makan ikan camne ?

me : senang jer , cari laki yang tak makan ikan , like me .......

ibu : tunggu la sampai tua ......( and i can see disappointment at her face, she must be saying "apa nak jadi ngan anak dara aku "

so people , please doa for me , so i can get a future husband who don't like to eat fish , so i tak payah gi pasar or cut the fish ...

:: surgery ::

2009-02-12T21:47:00.005+08:00

Sinus is a common thing
for me , running nose and blocked nose is a common
it runs in my family ,on my mum's side
but for the past few weeks
my sinus became worst
i can't sleep
i can't be in an aircon room
i sneeze alot and continuously , ( hahaha, imagine that ! )
i can't do housework ,
i easily feel lethargic and very tired

a few visits to the polyclinics and private doctor, they prescribe me the same medicine but it doesnt work at all .

my mum suggested to go for traditional herbs treatment , but after knowing how the procedure and torturous it will be , i decided to look for other alternative

So yesterday night , i surfed youtube looking for sinus surgery procedure ,and came across a video of a surgery that performed by Dr kevin Soh

I emailed him and make an appoinment with him

after doing scope

he said that i seriosuly need to have surgery , not 1 but 2 surgery !

ok now , im run out of idea nak tulis, if rajin, i sambung balik apa doctor cakap

:: i don't understand ::

2009-02-12T10:37:00.000+08:00

:: should i be angry ? ::

2009-02-11T14:56:00.003+08:00

i made that thing from scratch
its my creation
i took the picture
i edited the pictures
and
the pictures are posted in someone else's blog .

please tell me , What should i do ?

:: on being stronger ::

2009-02-11T00:59:00.001+08:00

I'll never go back.
The things I've had to experience have made me stronger.
I wouldn't change those moments for anything in the world.
Because without them I wouldn't be the real me

:: money ::

2009-02-10T10:44:00.003+08:00

Do you really think that money is everything ?
NO , money is not everything
but
we need money in our daily necessities

a few weeks ago, one of my friends asked me this Q
is having money is one of ur criteria to marry a guy ?
and i said : NO , i dont need his money

maybe at that point, some of them thought that im just too ego to admit or too proud of myself
i have my reasons for saying No .

I've came acrossed alot of unhappiness with money , too many , just too many

a husband controlling his wife with money
a mother brainwashing her kids about how rich they are and how poor their cousins is
a father told her daughter not to be too close to her aunt because she has alot of debt
a sister can be rude and bitching about each other
a girlfriend can hate her boyfriend because he always spent
and many other unhappy events

On being ignorant , i know some of my friends are frustrated , dealing with my ignorance , but i felt better .

:: IGNORANCE ::

2009-02-09T01:00:00.000+08:00

it does work ......

:: everybody loves ukasyah ::

2009-02-09T00:24:00.002+08:00

:: untitled ::

2009-02-06T00:30:00.002+08:00

i though by making myself to hate him will make me leave
but it doesn't
the feeling becomes stronger

:: my wishlist ::

2009-02-05T22:56:00.002+08:00

Nikon D300

Incredible Me perfume

A diamond Ring

yea, yea , yea, i know its ridiculous , but its MY wish list

:: untitled ::

2009-01-29T23:35:00.001+08:00

Hi Miss Mai,

We are currently starting out a new batch of photographers as part of our team , Is it possible for us to view your portfolio ?

XXXXX production

:: tolong la faham ::

2009-01-28T21:57:00.003+08:00

under this continues stress and unsecured feeling
i just wish that i have the courage to say it straight to his face
about how i feel
Im not asking for anything
Just an assurance
then i wont bother u again

:: mentally prepared ? ::

2009-01-27T00:35:00.001+08:00

im not sure whether we are looking and heading in the same direction
O' Allah , i need more signs !

:: horrible ::

2009-01-25T03:46:00.002+08:00

i went because i wanted to show some compassion
but it was horrible
it hurt even more
just like rubbing salt to a wound
people dont understand me
but its more worst when i dont understand myself

:: on taking photo at events ::

2009-01-23T13:27:00.005+08:00

I'm not a die-hard-fan of them , but i got a good location to shoot their photos

:: untitled ::

2009-01-23T12:40:00.002+08:00

" what i really cannot take is any form of betrayal "

its been 2 weeks since my dad was hospitalized, nothing to worry, he's enjoying himself
a packed weekend for me
still undecide plans for CNY holiday , so ladies, please make up ur mind !
and i badly miss all my besties !

:: i want this ::

2009-01-21T21:24:00.001+08:00

Dear Husburd to be ,
Can i have my wedding video something like dis ?
But i want cik misha to sing it LIVE , can ?

:: loving zapin ::

2009-01-21T14:58:00.002+08:00

U want me to take zapin class ?

haha, takpe la......

:: thanks for cheering up my day ::

2009-01-21T14:51:00.002+08:00

:: the apple of my eyes ::

2009-01-20T23:49:00.004+08:00

My Dearest Nieces , Maryam & Aliyyah
Khala loves the both of you very very much

:: keep holding on ::

2009-01-15T22:42:00.001+08:00

i will spend all my time waiting
for a second chance with you

:: parts of life ::

2009-01-13T22:41:00.002+08:00

I'm not trying to be "sensative " or " unreasonable"
I don't mind if im not a part of anything
But when u count me in as "sisters" or "bestfriend"
I guess i have every right and deserve to know what is going on

:: MY 2008 ::

2009-01-08T02:48:00.004+08:00

:: 2008 ups and downs ::

2009-01-01T02:12:00.003+08:00

- first trip to KL with dian and dearest aunty , a happening one and unforgetable
- the whole family drove to KL to attend relatives wedding in KL, a total of 30 peoples staying in a 3 room apartment , imagine that, but its a fun experince for me .
- asissting a guy fren in his outdoor photoshoot at Singapore Zoo .
- My dearest grandfather passed away exactly 1 month from our last trip to KL .
- Fell in love
- Besties suprised me with a birthday dinner .
- Trip to jakarta with my bestie .
- Heartbroken , this experience really open my eyes , from this incident i can see who i can really rely on and whos not
- The birth of Shaik Ukasyah Rayyan , Maryam, Aliyyah ,Eriqa Rindiyani and Muhd Aniq
- Meeting old flame
- Dearest shahirah and faizal got engaged
- Im honoured to be their official photographer for the engagement ceremony
- Dearest Pink got married !
-Besides the night life and the outing, all of that shud sums up my 2008

:: My Weekend with them ::

2008-12-28T22:53:00.003+08:00

Aniq
we cooked chilli crab from scratch
and i made philly cheese sandwhich

:: on being left out ::

2008-12-24T21:32:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i think i should stop thinking about others
"aku ade pikir pasal orang tapi ade orang pikir pasal aku"
sounds fimiliar?
im going on to that mode again now
thanks and fcuk off !